Each year we are invited to a Super Bowl party or two. We usually go to our friends', the Brach's, in Cisne. But honestly, we don't watch the game. We just do a lot of visiting and catching up with old friends. This year we weren't able to make it. Jason worked all weekend and was tired. Silas likes to go to bed around 6 pm and we just decided that this year it just wasn't going to work out. We just needed to chillax at home. We invited our friends the Duquaine's over to watch it at our house (since we were too tired to go anywhere) but unfortunately our invite came with a warning that we probably wouldn't watch the whole game and might go to bed around 9. Ha. We scared 'em off and they said they would take a raincheck for a night where we could maybe stay up till like say 10 o'clock. (Actually, they just wanted to chillax at home too.)
So, we ordered pizza and breadsticks and settled in for the evening. At 5:30 we turned it to the Super Bowl. Maleah had been watching High School Musical and was a little bummed that we turned it. I told her that she would love the commercials and half time show, so hush. Jason and I neither one are football fans (or basketball fans, or really any other sport). Neither of us knew a thing about either the San Francisco team or the Baltimore Ravens. (See, I don't even know what the San Francisco team is called.) I asked Jason which team he was going to root for. He said "San Francisco because I have heard of them." Hmm. Good reasoning, I thought.
"Which team are you rooting for?" he asked. My reply: "I'm going to go with the Ravens because I like Edgar Allen Poe."
"Good reason. Although I think Poe was a pretty messed-up feller, don't you? Haven't you read the Tell-Tale Heart?" Jason said.
"Oh yeah, he was a creep, for sure. But talented. I'm going with the Ravens" I said. And that my friends, is how I picked the Super Bowl Winner of 2013 (I don't do Roman numerals.)
So we watched the first fifteen or twenty minutes of the game and then I had to go get the pizza. We paused the game for 30 minutes while we ate (See how serious we are about the game? We didn't want to miss a second of it!). Shortly after we restarted it, we got to see the first fight. Now, that's what I'm talking about! I am so glad they made it interesting! Maleah was shocked that I wanted to see them fight and said, "Mom, you don't like violence! Why do you want to see that??" Good point. "Well," I replied, "it just makes it more interesting and makes me wonder what they're saying to each other under those big helmets." We then fast forwarded it until we saw someone score. Okay. That was good. My team was doing great! And then, we fast forwarded it again until we saw another fight. Had to watch that part. And then we were pretty much caught up to the live version.
We did stop and watch the commercials. Unfortunately. I was majorally disappointed and they were NOT family friendly commercials. I made Maleah look away while her Dad looked for the remote to fast forward it. I know that sex sells but gee whiz. That's was all the commercials were. The Go Daddy.com commercials, Naked Underwear commercials, and Calvin Klein commercials were awful. Oh, and the one with Bar Rafaeli kissing a geek. No thanks! Yuck.
The half-time show: Before it started I commented that I wondered if Beyonce was going to really sing or lip sync. So then Maleah asked me about five thousand times during the whole show whether or not she was singing or lip syncing. Why do my kids have to talk all the time? Me: "I don't know, Honey. Be quiet and let's see. I still don't know. Not sure. I can't tell unless she messes up. Be quiet. Quit asking me. Hush. I can't hear it. Oh, that's a surprise Destiny's Child reunion. I'll tell you later. Yes, they used to be a group. Yes, back then. Be quiet. I don't know. I can't tell. Hush. I can't hear them. Just be quiet. Quit asking. I DON'T KNOW!"
While all this was going on Maleah was also saying "What is she wearing? Oh my! She's not a modest girl is she Mom? Is that a skirt? I can see her underwear! Oh my." My thoughts exactly. That outfit belonged in a bedroom not in front of millions of people (and children). At this point, I was wondering why we were still watching it, but we were. And then there were these two profiles of women's faces that were made out of lights and facing each other as if they were about to kiss. Was that to represent Beyonce and Michelle Obama? I don't know. I know the outfits and the dance moves weren't really something I would want my girls to be dressed in or to grow up and do that in front of millions of people but I really did enjoy the Destiny's Child reunion. I love their music.
Okay, so then the game started again. A guy from my favorite team, the Ravens, made an awesome play and ran across the whole field and made a touchdown. He set a record of 109 yards (I think). I love it when he plays like that. ;) My team was seriously kicking butt. There were a few more little tiffs between the players. I decided that the Ravens were probably going to win and that was the night the lights went out in Georgia. Errr, I mean Louisiana. Half of the stadium went dark and they put the game on hold. One child was already in bed but I bathed the other two so that they could be headed that way. And then I ate Pie. Yummo. My Mom had dropped off a peach pie earlier that day for us to eat. Wasn't that nice? What's a better way to deal with a partial blackout in New Orleans than to eat pie? I can't think of one.
I told Jason that I didn't think the San Francisco Giants had a chance of winning now but what if it was a conspiracy of someone who had bet millions of dollars on the Giants to win and were angry so they cut the lines? He thought it was very possible but then he stopped and said, "Wait, are they the Giants?" Me: "Hmm. Maybe. I don't know." Jason: "No, I think that is New York." Me: "Oh yeah, right." Big pause as we both pondered this. Me: "I think they are the forty-niners." Jason: "Oh yeah..." and then he went back to his book that he had been reading most of the evening. (He only watched the game if someone was scoring or fighting.)
Well, then the game picked up again. The San Francisco Whatevers scored once or twice or thrice. The score was 28 to 20 after I got the girls to bed. I wanted to see another fight. Maybe I should start watching boxing. I don't know. Then Jason read his book and I scanned Pinterest for interesting craft ideas. I watched a good commercial called "Then God Made A Farmer" or something like that. I really liked it and then spent the next 60 seconds trying to decide whose voice that was narrating it. Then I decided it was an old recording of Paul Harvey, googled it to be sure, found out I was right, and went back to Pinterest. Jason realized then that the score was 31 to 24. My team had scored and I had missed it. We were both happy about that and I began to question Jason's loyalty to the San Francisco team.
Not long after that, the San Francisco team scored a touchdown and the score was then 31 to 29. Jason said, "Dad gum it!" It was then that I knew that he had no loyalty to the team that he had picked a mere three hours earlier. He went on to explain that he felt that if the lights hadn't went out that the San Francisco Whatevers wouldn't have gotten their act together and wouldn't have scored all that much. The mojo had changed for sure. Maybe it was all those voodoo commercials? I don't know. I bet the electric-line-cutter looked like this:
By this time, I had heartburn. Was it from the peach pie or perhaps the pizza? Or perhaps the Chipotle salsa I had as an appetizer? I don't know but I was ready to go to bed. How much longer was this game going to last? I was getting restless.
The score was 34-31 toward the end. Everyone on tv was getting antsy. I was getting quiet and sleepy. I picked a new topic on pinterest - architecture. That entertained me for a bit. The tv was playing Eye of the Tiger during one timeout after another. I don't think they were discussing plays. I think they were discussing what to say to the cameras after the game. I was feeling about the same as I did the day I was in labor with Carissa. Please just end this!!!
It finally ended and we hit the power button and headed to bed. I thought about watching my favorite team rejoice but I just didn't care that much after all. And that, folks, is how the Cooper's do the Super Bowl...
