The Bad News I Didn't Want To Hear :(

Okay, so if you missed our summer catch-up post that I posted a few days ago, the link is on the right side of this page.  :)  I know you guys don't want to miss all of our summer pictures!

The last post left off at the middle of July.  We had a really good summer up to that point.  In early July, I found a lump in my breast.  I made an appointment with my doctor and wasn't really too worried about it.  I know a lot of people who have found lumps and they all turned out to be nothing.  My doctor was concerned and sent me for a mammogram.  The radiologist was concerned and sent me to a surgeon for a biopsy.  By this point I was now concerned.  The surgeon was concerned when he did the biopsy and called me a few days later to tell me that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, which is a type of breast cancer.  I was shocked.  Stunned.  At a loss for words.  Crushed. 

It took me about two weeks to get my bearings.  I didn't want to talk to a lot of people.  I cried.  I worried, even though I knew I shouldn't.  I knew God was in control but I still worried.  I was just really freaked out.  I began to imagine that the cancer had spread through my whole body and every ache and pain was suddenly a cancerous tumor hiding in my body.  It was a really rough couple of weeks. 

I made an appointment with an oncologist in St. Louis that sees only breast cancer patients.  Her office is in the St. Louis Cancer and Breast Institute.  It is really a nice place and is affiliated with Mercy Hospital where all three of my kids were born and where I lived for three months with Baby Silas.  I feel comfortable there and I loved my oncologist.  She immediately calmed me down.  She ran lots of scans on me.  The first prayer answered was that the cancer had not spread - not even to any lymph nodes.  She told me that my cancer was a very "vanilla" type of breast cancer - common and easily treated, easily beaten.  I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief after that appointment. 

She had a plan of action.  She was very confident and very reassuring that I would beat this.  Her plan was chemo first and then surgery.  The chemo involves four chemo treatments every other week and then 12 chemo treatments every week.  The first four are supposed to be the hardest.  They are a higher dose.  The last 12 are a low dose of a different chemo drug.  I am proud to say that I have made it through the first three doses.  I am 3/4 of the way through with the "hard stuff."  One more to go!  I lost my hair but the doctor said I can expect it to start to grow back when I start the low-dose chemo treatments at the end of September.  I was really sick after the first treatment but the last two haven't been as bad.  Mostly I am just really tired.  The good news about the low-dose treatments (other than my hair growing back) is that I shouldn't be sick or quite as tired.  I am ready for that!  And the really good news is that after the first two chemo treatments the doctor said that my tumor was pretty well gone and was now just a "dense area of tissue" but not a tumor.  She said it's gone!

As for the surgery, I don't really know what that entails yet.  I meet with the surgeon in a couple of weeks.   I am nervous about the surgery.  I am just praying that God will show me which surgery is the right one for me and that whichever one I choose will guarantee that I will be cancer-free forever.

I have had amazing support from everyone.  I would be lost without Jason.  He has been managing everything and I have no idea what I would do without him.  He is the best husband and father ever.  He loves me.  Even if I am bald.  And my Mom has been amazing too.  She has taken care of the kids, the house, my laundry, and lots of other things.  It doesn't matter if you're 34 years old, when you are sick, you still want your Mom!  And my Dad, brother, in-laws, aunts, cousins, church family, and friends have all gone above and beyond to help me too.  People have brought meals, sent cards, helped me clean my house, gave us gas money, and helped with the kids.  I can't imagine going through this without the support of a big family and lots of friends in a small town.  I love our community and I am thankful to each and every person who has helped in any way or prayed for me and our family. 

Anyway, I still have a long road ahead of me but I am getting there.  Slowly but surely.  I am looking forward to the day that I can say I am cancer-free.