Friday (December 30)

Hi everybody.  We are back at the hospital tonight.  Silas is doing great.  They took his ventilator out completely and he looks so much more comfortable.  I wish I had a scanner with me because the nurses took the most adorable pictures of him after they took it out and before they put the cpap on him.  There is nothing hiding his face in the pictures and he is smiling!  I love it!

So now he is wearing the cpap again (basically a fan on his face) but he is doing all the work of breathing.  The cpap gives him a little extra pressure in his lungs but that is it.  He is moving in the right direction.  I took his temperature earlier and changed his diaper.  He cried.  I hated it that I made him uncomfortable while I took his temp (under his arm) but I was happy to hear his little voice. 

Right now he is tucked in and snug as a bug in a rug in his bed.  I think Daddy is going to get to hold him in a little while for the first time.  I will take some pics of that and try to post them tomorrow.

Wednesday (December 28)

Silas is doing good today.  I called and checked on him throughout the day, since I am in Flora today.  He weighed 2 lb. 1.5 oz. today!  Yay!  That is the first time that he has weighed more than his birth weight.  I am so happy that he is growing.  They increased his feedings today and finished the medication he needed to close his heart valve.  He is already showing signs of breathing better on his own.  They put the cpap machine on him and are preparing to take off the ventilator.  I am hoping that it comes out tomorrow and hoping and praying that he can handle being without it.  The nurses really didn't have that much to tell me because he is doing good and not much changed today. 

The bad news is that today I had the slightest sore throat off and on throughout the day.  I am so paranoid that I am going to get sick and then end up making him sick that it is very worrisome.  Hopefully, it will be gone tomorrow but in the meantime until I am sure that I am not getting sick I am staying in Flora.  Maleah also felt bad this morning and yesterday.  She complained of a headache and just generally feeling kind of lousy.  She spent most of the day in her pj's and on the couch.  She felt much better by this evening though and was back to her perky self.  So please continue to pray that we all stay well and healthy and that little Silas makes good progress this week!  Thank you all so much!

Tuesday (December 27)

I went back to St. Louis again today to see Silas.  My cousin Abby drove me over for the day.  We had a good day together.  Thanks for driving Abby!

Silas is doing good.  I held him for an hour or so.  He was making a lot of noise, almost as if he was talking.  He kept opening his mouth and acting like he was trying to spit out his ventilator.  I think he hates that thing.  The respiratory guy came in and said that his ventilator was leaking a little bit because he shouldn't be able to make any noise while it was in.  They adjusted it a little to make that better.  They had also lowered the setting on the ventilator so that Silas was doing most of the work on his own but the vent was there to help him every so often.  After I held him though, he fell into a deep sleep and got lazy.  He missed a few breaths so then they had to bump the ventilator back up to the higher setting.  The dr. said this was very normal and for me not to worry. 

They also gave him some medicine last night and today to help close the pda valve in his heart.  This is a normal thing for preemies.  All babies have this valve and it is open while in utero and then right after birth it closes; but with a preemie, it doesn't close when it should.  So they have had to give him a few doses of medicine to help with that.  Once it is closed they said they will probably take the ventilator out because he will be able to breathe better by himself after the valve closes.  They expect to take the ventilator out tomorrow or the next day.  Yay!!!  That makes me happy!  He will also be getting more milk again (they had backed off of this for a few days waiting on that valve to close) so hopefully he will begin to gain more weight this week.  He weighed 2 pounds even again today.

I mentioned to one of the nurses that I was a little paranoid that he was going to get sick.  They have passed out a few written notices to the nicu parents about cold and flu season that pretty much scared the crap out of me.  You can feel fine and not know you even have a cold or flu because your body is fighting it and you can still spread it to your baby.  It makes me scared to even hold him, thinking that I might have a bug and not even know it.  The nurse's response was that if she was a bettin' woman, she would bet that he will get sick at some point.  "That usually happens before they go home."  What??  That is not acceptable.  I am not betting on that and here's why:  there are a lot of people praying for my little Silas.  The power of prayer is amazing.  That has been proven to me time and time again.  So I am asking all of you to please pray that Silas does not get sick and that I, or anyone else, does not unknowingly pass a sickness to him.  Also, please pray that we see some progress this week and that he gains some weight.   Thank you all!  You have no idea how much Jason and I appreciate your prayers, kind words, and encouragement.

A Merry Christmas!

We had a great Christmas.  The girls woke up at 7 a.m. (the earliest they have ever woke up on Christmas Day) and were very excited about their presents.  Santa had left Carissa a red wagon under the tree.  It was the one and only thing she asked for.  Jason and I had bought her a lot of gifts but she didn't even want to unwrap anything.  She just sat in her wagon and was completely satisfied.  Maleah loved her gifts too.  Her favorite gift was a Kindle Fire.  She had asked for a portable DVD player (since she will now be in the 3rd row in the car and thus unable to see the built-in DVD screens) but since the Kindle plays movies and was only slightly higher than the DVD player, I went that route instead.  The other thing that she asked for on her list was lots of lots of books.  The Kindle took care of that too.  She hasn't hardly put the thing down all day.  It was definitely worth the money.

After opening gifts at home we headed to Grandma Debby and Grandpa David's.  We had a wonderful breakfast and then opened gifts.  The girls had a great time and so did Jason and I.  We all loved our presents.  The funniest comment of the day was when both girls opened a present together and both immediately said "BUBBLE WRAP!  Bubble wrap!  Oh good!  Bubble wrap!"  They completely ignored the fact that there was a very nice gift in that box and both started popping the bubbles right away.  I think we try to hard to impress them.  Maybe next year I will get them both a big box of bubble wrap...

We left the girls with Grandma and Grandpa and then headed to St. Louis to see our little man.  He is doing great!  He looked so cute today.  They had his little Santa hat on him.  However, the longer we were there, the more it slipped off.  In the picture, it is barely even on.  He opened his eyes and looked around some.  He was trying to focus on me I think.  And, I swear he smiled at me!  It was so cute!  And I have a witness... my friend Corinne (who is from St. Louis) stopped by to see us at the hospital and meet Silas.  She saw him smile too.  We had a nice visit with her and with Grandma Sherrel and Grandpa Clarence, who also came over to visit with their first grandson. 

Silas in his itty bitty Santa hat.

The shelf in Silas' room is full of gifts!

Everything with Silas is about the same.  On Christmas Eve he dropped back down to 1 pound 14 ounces, but today he was back up to 1 pound 15 ounces.  It's just two steps forward and one step back.  They told us it would be like this so I think that makes it easier to deal with.  I like to be warned or told what to expect.  I hope he has a really great week this week and grows even more.

I didn't blog yesterday because I was just too darn tired.  There really wasn't much to say about Silas, since everything was pretty much the same anyway.  We went to Jason's Mom's and Dad's (Sherrel and Clarence) yesterday evening and had a nice meal.   Then we had a birthday cake for Jesus and sang Happy Birthday.  After that we exchanged gifts with them and with Craig and LuAnn.  It was a fun night and we all truly loved our gifts.  The girls got some really cool toys and were super excited.  Then after that it was back home to get those two crazy girls to bed.  They were wound up and it wasn't easy.  Jason and I finally got to bed at midnight, I woke back up at 3 a.m. to pump breastmilk, and then the girls were awake at 7.  So even though our new baby isn't even home, I think I am getting about as much sleep as if he was. 

Here are some pictures from Christmas:

Carissa at Grandma Sherrel and Grandpa Clarence's

Checking out the new Kindle...

Loved her wagon with the cupholder!

Of course, she loved the boxes more than the presents.

At Grandma Debby and Grandpa David's - her favorite way to smile.

It was hard to get a good picture of Maleah because

she kept jumping up and down!

  I am exhausted so I will say good night now.  Merry Christmas to all of you!!

Friday Evening (December 23)

We went to St. Louis today and saw our little man.  We were going to wait a few more days before we went but because we had things at home in good order and are now ready for Christmas, we went ahead and headed back over there to see the little guy.  We are already back home tonight.  We just went for the day.

He is doing good.  The really great news?  He is back to his birth weight!  Woo hoo!  Back to 2 pounds even.  I thought he looked bigger and stronger.  I wasn't able to hold him today because they were still giving him a little bit more blood today.  But I was able to put my hand on his head (he likes that, I can tell) and he kept waving at me.  lol. 

The doctors are thinking about taking the ventilator off soon.  They at first said that they would like to wait a day or two but may do it later tonight because Silas is telling them that enough is enough.  He is fighting it.  So we shall see...

Jason and the girls went to Cabela's while I was at the hospital and they saw all of the big fish there.  That made them happy.  Maleah really needed a new pair of shoes and she found a pair that she liked so she was happy.  The girls also got an Elf on the Shelf today and that was very thrilling.  All in all, it was a very good day!  We are so blessed!

Thank you so much for your continued prayers for our little man!  He is growing!!

Thursday Evening (December 22)

Silas had a pretty good day today.  He weighs the same as yesterday.  He is still doing good.  The only thing that has changed today is that he had to have a blood transfusion.  They told us when he was born that it would be something that he may need.  Ninety something percent of babies his size need one in their first few weeks.  The reason is that they use up their red blood cells faster than their bone marrow can help produce more.  Plus the nurses and doctors take blood samples every so often too, and that doesn't help the situation.  We were aware that this might come up and it did today.  It is extremely normal to need this so I didn't freak out or anything.  Although I do feel bad for my little baby.  They don't feed him for 8 hours during the transfusion.  I bet he's hungry. 

I felt really good today.  Praise the Lord for that!  I, along with my helper elves, was able to get a lot done today.  All of my shopping is now done and everything is wrapped.  Whew!  It was a big day and I am tired but it was well worth it.  Now I can relax a little about Christmas and I still have two days to spare.  I am very happy that everything is pretty much done.  Thank you to all of those that helped me today!

Wednesday Evening (December 21)

I am out of the hospital and back home.  Yay!  I am feeling much much better!  I have more antibiotics to take but I already feel so much better.  Thank you all for the prayers.  I really truly appreciate it.

Silas is doing awesome too.  He is back up to 1 pound 15 oz.  He had been losing weight since birth and had gotten down to 1 pound 9 oz.  Then he crept back up to 1 pound 13 oz.  Then went back and forth between 1 pound 12 oz and 1 pound 13 oz for a few days but I am so happy that he is almost back to his birth weight.  They are still feeding him double what they were and he is handling it really good and gaining weight. 

I am exhausted though and am headed to bed.  Sorry for the short update but that is really all that is new and I am too tired to write.  Thank you all again for praying for us.  The support that we have received is amazing and makes me want to tear up just thinking about all of it.

Tuesday Evening (December 20)

It's hard to believe but our little Silas is already 9 days old.  He is doing really good.  I got to hold him again tonight for an hour.  He is so sweet.  He just snuggles right into my chest and he is so warm and soft.  The doctor increased his feedings today from 3cc to 6cc - double what he was getting.  He handled it very well and pooped shortly afterwards.  That is really good news.  Hopefully, he will now start gaining some weight. 

Tonight he got to wear his adorable little hat that my Aunt Cheryl knitted for him.  It fit him perfectly and he looked so gosh darn cute.  Here are some pics:

In other news, I am back in the hospital.  I had been having severe abdominal pain since this past weekend.  At first, I thought it was just normal c-section recovery pain and that I was overdoing it - walking too much, trying to just do too much.  I soon realized that something was wrong.  I put a call into the doctor.  They called me in an antibiotic, thinking that I had a urinary tract infection.  But by late Monday night, I hurt so badly that I could not stand up.  It was a very sharp pain like someone was stabbing me.  Jason loaded me up and we headed back to Mercy Hospital in St. Louis.  I wanted to be under my doctor's care and thought that if I was admitted, I would just as soon be admitted to the same hospital as Silas.  The ER at Mercy is as big as the entire Clay County Hospital.  It was huge!  And the staff were so efficient.  Everything moved along very quickly and after three doses of morphine I finally started to feel a little better.  They admitted me and now, almost 24 hours later, I am feeling almost back to normal.  They pumped a lot of antibiotics into me and diagnosed me with a bladder infection and bladder spasms caused by the c-section.  Apparently my bladder was very used to having lots of pressure on it from my uterus sitting on it.  When they pressure was no longer on it, it didn't quite know what to do and it kept going into spasms, which were causing me intense pain.  Thank God for modern medicine is all I have to say.  I get to go home tomorrow and I will be glad to get there.  I still have two little girls who need me, Christmas shopping to do, and wrapping to do.  I have a lot of friends and family (whom I might nickname "my elves" for awhile) who are helping me get things done.  I owe them all a big thank  you!  In the meantime, little Silas will stay here in St. Louis and keep growing.  I will see him again in a few days...

Monday evening (12/19)

Hi everybody.  Okay, first of all, you may notice that I got today's date right in the headline.  Apparently for the past week I have been a day off.  I am blaming it on the new computer.  It has been set to the wrong date all along.  I changed it today and from now on I should get it right.  Hopefully.

Silas is doing good.  He is still on the ventilator but doing really good with it.  He's not quite ready to come off of it again.  He is still taking my breast milk through the feeding tube.  He is constipated today and needs to poop again.  His body can do it, it's just that it's a slow process. 

They did a couple of tests on him today that they do on all premature babies when they are a week old.  One was an ultrasound of his head to check for brain bleeds and the other is an echocardiogram of his heart.  The doctors haven't seen any evidence of any of these problems but they just do these tests on ALL of their babies at one week.   The results are not back yet.  I should find out tomorrow what the results are.  Hopefully, everything comes back normal.

As for me, I have not been doing as great.  I have had a lot of pain and it got much worse on Sunday night.  I called the doctor and they think that I either have a urinary tract infection or a uterine infection.  They sent me to Clay County Hospital for a urinalysis today and I will get the results tomorrow.  Hopefully, it is just a urinary infection and I will start feeling better very soon.  In the meantime, I am still having a lot of pain so please say a prayer for me and that I will feel better soon.  It is very hard on me to feel this bad and to be so helpless.  Jason is still off of work and is taking very good care of me.  I don't know what I would do without him.  I am so ready to feel like myself again.

Please continue praying for my family.  We can use all the prayers we can get!  Thank you all so much.   

Saturday Evening (12/18)

Silas is doing great.  He is still on the ventilator and they said that they will probably wait until later in the week to try him off of it again.  There really is not a whole lot other than that to report.  He looked pretty comfortable today.  They kept his room dark today and he just sort of relaxed all day.  He is still off of the bilirubin lights but they said to not be surprised if he is back on them tomorrow.  He might go back and forth with the jaundice for a while. 

The fun part today was that Santa came to the Nicu.  I'm pretty sure it was the real Santa too.  He was so nice.  The nurses put a teeny tiny red hat on Silas and then Santa came in, along with a professional photographer.  Santa stood over Silas bed and the photographer took a pic of them together.  It looked so cute!  I can't wait to get a copy but they said it would take a week or two.  Maleah and Carissa were in the waiting room and they also got to see Santa.  Carissa was a little upset that he didn't bring her anything but we reassured her that he would be back on Christmas Eve. 

We had several visitors today.  Grandma Sherrel, Grandpa Clarence, Uncle Craig, and Aunt LuAnn all came to visit.  After their visit, we went and ate at Applebee's.  Jason and I were getting very tired of the hospital cafeteria food.  Unfortunately, the Applebee's we at just happened to be the slowest one in the world.  They should have a sign on the door that says that.  Thank you to Sherrel and Clarence for buying our lunch though.  And thanks to Craig and LuAnn for being such great support too.

After we finally got out of there, we saw more visitors at the hospital.  Grandma Debby, Grandpa David, Uncle Brad, Chloey, Calli, and Aunt Lori all came to see Baby Silas.  He had a big day of visitors and slept right through it all.  The girls were excited because Brad and Chloey brought Christmas presents with them.  Maleah got a Wappy Dog, which is exactly what she wanted, and Carissa got cute new doll clothes and a beautiful new North Face coat.  They were both very happy.  Jason and I got gas cards which I know will be put to good use.  Thank you Brad and Chloey!  Aunt Lori brought Silas a very cute little blankie with a puppy on it.  I can't wait to see him carrying it around one day.

It's been wild weekend for Maleah and Carissa. They are so used to their schedules and we are so off of our schedules that it's not even funny. Bedtime last night was interesting. We are all four sleeping in one room. I get up 2-3 times a night to pump breastmilk. The girls usually talk/sing themselves to sleep. We were all four constantly bothering each other. Carissa finally fell asleep after making continuous fart noises with her mouth for five minutes. I hope her brother appreciates her bathroom humor because the rest of us don't. Today they were both ready to go home from the hospital after five minutes. They have been tired, whiny, and hungry because they are used to eating what they want at home. The nurse told me that they would not be allowed back. But not because they were that bad or anything, but RSV season is starting so as of Monday, no children will be allowed in the Nicu, not even siblings. And I am a-okay with that because I don't want them to unintentionally make Silas or any other baby sick and besides that they don't have a good time in the nicu's family room or waiting room so they might as well stay home. They will be very happy to return home tomorrow. I am very thankful for the Nintendo DS today...

The Ronald McDonald House is so nice and so convenient but they do have pretty strict rules. I sort of feel like I am back in school because there are so many rules. Tonight I got in trouble because I left the dining room with my cupcake and was eating it in the hallway. I apologized and promised to throw the paper lining away as soon as I finished the cupcake. I didn't drop a crumb and was very careful. What kind of example am I setting for my kids???

Silas will be one week old tomorrow. It has been a crazy crazy week but filled to the brim with blessings. Each day we continue to be blessed. God's grace is amazing. Thank you all for your prayers.

Friday evening (12/17)

We have had a big day.  We left Flora this afternoon and headed back to St. Louis.  It was a long drive.  We listened to a lot of Justin Bieber.  We arrived at the Ronald McDonald House and got all checked in.  It is a very nice place and we have a very nice and clean room. 

On the way here the doctor called to let us know that they had to put Silas back on the ventilator.  He wasn't concerned and said that it was very normal for someone Silas' age and weight to have to do.  Apparently this afternoon Silas got lazy and missed several breaths.  They were having to nudge him several times in a one hour period to remind him to breathe.  They decided that it would then be a lot easier on him to just have the ventilator for a little while longer.  The doctors and nurses were very reassuring that he was still doing very very good for how little he is and that this is a very normal step.

That was the bad news.  The good news is that I got to hold him for close to an hour tonight.  They tucked him in to my tank top and covered him with warm blankets.  It felt so good to hold my little man.  He opened his eyes and looked around a little bit.  It was hard for me to see him since he was tucked under my chin so they gave me a hand mirror so that I could see his little face.  Here are a few pictures from tonight:

I have had a few people mention that they have had a hard time locating some of his first pictures and first updates on my blog.  On the right side of the blog is an archives of all of my prior posts.  One is titled "Pictures" and that is where all of Silas' first pictures are.  Hope this helps.

Thanks again for all of your prayers!  Please keep them coming!



Thursday Evening (12/16)

First of all I would like to say a very big thank you to everyone for the prayers, calls, messages, etc.  We are truly in awe of everyone's thoughtfulness and encouragement.  Silas had another great day.  We had to leave him around noon today though and we headed home.  I was glad to be released from the hospital but sad to leave Silas behind.  It was hard but I am going back tomorrow so that makes it a little easier.

Things that have changed since yesterday:  he is no longer on a cpap machine.  This machine laid on top of his nose and made sure there was plenty of good air for him to breathe.  It did not breathe for him, it was just sort of like having a fan on your face.  People with sleep apnea wear these things.  They decided he didn't need that, so they removed it.  Every once in a while he will forget to take a breath and they will nudge him and he will breathe again.  This scares me a lot but to the nurses it is no big deal and very very normal for someone as small as he is and very normal even for preemies who are bigger than he is.  If he starts doing this a lot, they will put the cpap back on.  The good news is that the cpap and the ventilator are two very different things and overall he is doing an awesome job of breathing on his own, so even if he does start wearing the cpap again it is really nothing to worry about.

His jaundice levels have gone down so they are expecting to take him off of the bili lights soon.  Right now he is wearing a mask for the jaundice and was still wearing the cpap when I left.  It was hard to see his face with all of that stuff on it.  I am hoping to see him wearing nothing on his face (except for his small feeding tube) when I get back to the hospital tomorrow. 

I was able to help give him a bath last night.  It was really more of a wipedown than a bath but the nurse showed me how to wipe him with a special bathing wipe and clean him up.  He was very calm during the whole thing and liked it.  He is so sweet.  He opened his eyes and looked at me last night.  That made me happy. 

The girls were very happy to have me home.  We had missed each other so much.  They just hugged and hugged me.  If anybody has any tips on how to be in two places at once, please let me know...

Wednesday Evening

Hello again.  I am back online with a new computer.  Thank you to Penny for updating for me last night.  I didn't want anyone to think that something was wrong because of there being no update so I asked Penny to help me out.  Also, a really big thank you to my parents for Jason and mine's early Christmas present of a new laptop.  There was an unfortunate accident last night between the hardwood floor and our old laptop.  The floor won.  But what a nice surprise today to be told that there was a new one waiting for us at the closest Best Buy! 

So on to the update:  Silas is still doing wonderfully.  He has his feeding tube in and is doing really good with the breast milk.  The good news is that he pooped earlier this afternoon so that means that everything is working correctly.  He was able to move food all the way through his digestive system.  That is a big deal so yay for the poop!

He is still peeing a lot so that means his kidneys are working good.  He is still not needing any assistance with his breathing.  He is still under the bili lights for jaundice but that isn't a big deal. 
He does have his Picc line in, which is a single, better, stronger iv in his arm, instead of the multiple iv's that he had in his belly button. 

During the last few times that we have been in his room to talk to him, he usually reaches one hand out and we hold hands while we talk.  It is so sweet!  He will wrap his whole hand around Jason's finger and it just barely covers Jason's fingernail.  I took a picture of that today on my phone (I left my camera upstairs) and unfortunately I don't have the USB cable to download that pic right now.  I will try to get another one with my camera later.

I don't have anything else to report, which is a very good thing.  Everything is going smoothly.  I am being released tomorrow and will head home to see my girls.  I miss them so much and I know they miss me.  It will be hard to leave Silas here but I won't be gone for long and I know that he is right where he needs to be to grow and get stronger.

Thanks again for all of the prayers!

Tuesday Evening

This is Penny, Beth's friend, relaying a brief message for Beth. I just came back from visiting them and he truly is amazing! He's working hard at being independent already!! Anyway, Beth's computer was broken tonight, so she is unable to skype with her girls or access her blog/facebook. She asked me to update her blog for her as soon as I got home, and apologizes to you all that updates will be few and far between for a while. She will ask her mom or myself to update her blog with new developments! Also, she is very, very, very appreciative for all the prayers-so please keep them coming. So, as I mentioned before, Silas is Mr. Independent! He is now breathing on his own-NO VENTILATOR! He also has a feeding tube, which means he is able to eat his mommy's breast milk. He is a bit jaundice, so he gets to glow like a glow worm for a while. Did I mention that he truly is ADORABLE? He has long fingers, and is quite the shaker/mover. He was pushing the nurse away while she was messing with him. The nurse made the comment while I was there that he has a strong grip as well! Did I mention he is ADORABLE? Oh, I swear I heard him say "Penny" while visiting. However, nobody else heard it, so..... Anyway, I apologize that I'm not as great/creative with the writing, but it is 11:30 at night and I don't have the creative juices that our Beth has! Oh, did I mention the he is ADORABLE???? Good night to all, and please, please, please keep praying!!

Tuesday Morning Update

Silas is doing great.  He is the sweetest little thing.  He tries to cry but no sound comes out.  His forehead gets all wrinkly and looks like Carissa's does when she cries.  But for the most part he seems pretty comfortable.  He looks snug as a bug in his isolette.  He stretches out and gets all cozy.  I think Maleah would say that he was "chillaxin." 

I changed his diaper last night and as soon as the old diaper came off he peed all over.  I had to laugh and told him that I had already been warned that little boys would do that.  The nurse and I cleaned him up and put a clean diaper on him.  I also took his temperature and it was fine.  I love that the nurses let me be so hands-on. 

He has been on a ventilator since birth.  It has made it easier and less stressful for him to breathe but it hasn't been necessary because it seems as if he doesn't have to have it.  Does that make sense?  He also has an oxygen setting that controls how much O2 he is getting.  From what I understand, most babies born at his gestational age (25 weeks) require lots of oxygen.  On his first day he was using 25% oxygen or less.  You and I breathe 21% oxygen in the air, so you can see that he was requiring very little over what we breathe.  He has now been weaned off of even that much extra and is breathing the same amount of oxygen as us.  Right now they are re-evaluating him and are considering taking the ventilator out today.  They don't think he needs it.  Even if they decide to leave it in, I don't think he will have it much longer.  This is wonderful news!

So far he hasn't ate anything.  He is getting all of his nutrients through iv fluids.  They will be putting in a feeding tube today or tomorrow.  He will begin getting drops of my pumped breast milk through that.  They will also be putting in a pic line under his skin for his iv's.  Right now they are all hooked up through his belly button but they will change that and he will be more comfortable.  I will also be able to hold him after that is moved.  So far, I haven't gotten to hold him and am very anxious to do so.  He definitely knows my voice though and starts moving and getting excited when I talk to him.  He raises his eyebrows a lot when I talk as if he really wants to open his eyes.  I am not sure when to expect his eyes to open but maybe he will soon because he acts as if he wants to.

His vital signs are all very good.  His bilirubin levels did go up last night and he is now under a bili light for jaundice.  I was not surprised.  I thought he looked as if he was a little jaundiced.  That is actually something I am familiar with since both of the girls had that and were under lights for a while.  It's normal for preemies to deal with that and it's normal for my Mini Coopers.  No big surprise there.

I am doing great.  I will be released on Thursday.  I have a great room, super comfy bed, two tv's, a couch, and wonderful nurses and doctors.  Thank you all for your prayers, support, calls, etc.  I am behind on my messages and voicemails and I am so sorry!  I will try to get caught up today.  A special big thank you to my parents who have been taking care of Maleah and Carissa through all of this.  I have the best family and friends in the whole world!

Pictures!

Here are some pictures of my little man.  I know I look horrible in these pictures and I don't even care.  I had a bad day.

This is right after he was born.

Here is one of him today:  I think this picture makes him look bigger than he actually is.  He had a really good day today.  He is very calm and his vitals have been great.  This morning he kept grabbing at his tubes and got tape stuck to his hand.  And this afternoon he kept sticking his foot out of the cover and that foot was shaped exactly like Jason's foot - definitely not the same foot shape as me and the girls.  His diapers are much smaller than my hand.  I'll try to take a picture of one tomorrow. 

And here is one of the sweetest little hat that my Aunt Cheryl knitted for him.  I can't wait for him to wear it!

Here are a couple from Maleah's Christmas program.  Doesn't she look pretty?  The second one is one of her with one of her best friend's Payton Rose.

Thanks for all of the sweet comments on my last blog post.  I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support.  Thank you all so much!

A December Surprise

So most of you know by now that I had the baby early.  His name is Silas Aaron Cooper and he weighed 2 pounds even and was 14 1/2 inches long.  He was born at 25 weeks, 3 days which is 15 weeks early.  I expected him early but not this early.

So here is what happened:  (For those of you who don't want the details of HOW he got here, just skip ahead a few paragraphs.)  All day on Saturday I had a really bad lower backache.  I thought I was just out of whack and needed to go to the chiropractor again on Monday.  I kept putting heating pads on my back all day and finally went and took a hot shower and went to bed around 9 p.m.  I couldn't get comfortable in bed, kept tossing around, and finally fell into a sort-of-sleep.  It was one of those sleeps where you feel like you're pretty much still awake but you also have this ongoing dream that you're sort of in and out of.  It wasn't a good sleep.  And my dream was that I was in labor.  More specifically, my dream was that I at some sort of Utopian town.  The U.S. had a become a bunch of small towns and you lived wherever others that thought like you lived.  Our town was still called Flora but it had some sort of Utopian feel to it and we all believed in gun control and the Constitution.  In support of this, we had all given up electricity and every other modern convenience and even changed our town buildings into what they looked like 200 years ago.  Donna Mason was in charge of the restaurant that I was eating at when I went into labor.  It was a very strange dream and I was in a lot of pain in it.  I finally came to enough to realize that I really was in pain and was having contractions every 2 minutes.

I laid there debating about drinking a big glass of water and seeing if they would go away.  But first I had to pee.  After my trip to the bathroom I decided that I needed to wake up Jason and head to the hospital because I was bleeding.  Because I am high-risk, I have had all of my kids at St. John's Mercy in St. Louis.  The first time (with Maleah) I was taken in an ambulance and I vowed that would never happen again.  So we went in the car with Carissa and then again this time.  My Mom came over to stay with the kids and we high-tailed it to STL.  It's not that bad of a drive at all on a clear morning at 4 a.m.  There was zero traffic and it didn't take us long to get there.

I really just thought that I had a bad urinary tract infection.  That would explain the backache and I thought possibly the blood in the toilet.  I know that UTI's can cause pre-term labor and that I would get to the hospital, they would give me an antibiotic, stop the contractions and send me on my way.  That is not what happened.  The first thing they did was rule out a UTI.  My heart sank.

Next they checked to see if my water had broken.  It had but was only a slow leak.  My contractions were every two minutes and getting stronger.  They told me that I wasn't leaving until I had the baby and that they were going to try to keep him in until 34 weeks.  That meant spending the next 9 weeks in the hospital on strict bedrest.  I lost it and cried.  My thoughts were not only consumed by Silas' health but by missing Christmas with my two girls. 

They gave me the maximum dose of an evil drug called Magnesium.  It has lots of side effects like making you feel flushed, hotter than you've ever been, nausea, dizzyness, weakness, unable to keep your eyes open, not wanting to breathe or talk.  Seriously.  It was a rough day and the good that came out of it is that it kept me from delivering long enough for the first shot of steroids for Silas' lungs that they gave me had time to absorb.  The dr's goal was to keep me on that for at least 48 hours so that Silas could get two steroid shots through me but that didn't happen.  The problem was that I began bleeding more and more and the contractions never stopped.

Silas has also been breech since day one too.  I wasn't too worried about that because he still had plenty of time to flip before a full-term delivery.  He was what they call a double footling breech which meant that his feet were going to come out first, not his butt.  It was too dangerous to try to deliver him vaginally so I had my very first c-section.  After they finally decided that he was just going to have to be born because my labor was getting advanced, they did an emergency c-section.  I was physically sick, had no muscle control and couldn't even hold myself up for the spinal because of the crazy concoction of drugs that had been pumped into me all day.  I couldn't focus on anything really, not even my very pieced, confused, and highly effective prayers.  The doctors chose to do a spinal because it is faster and I was suddenly bleeding more than what I even realized at the time.  During the operation, Silas was out before I even realized that they had started (due in part to the fact, that I couldn't keep my eyes open).  They soon discovered that my placenta had begun separating from my uterus.  This is called Placental Abruption and can be very dangerous for the baby.  Thankfully, I was in the right place with a whole bunch of highly trained Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctors around me.  Thank you God for sending me to the right place and blessing me with such an awesome staff to help me through this!  As a side note, Placental Abruption happens to about 1% of patients.  For those of you that know me well, know that this is the story of my life!

They had estimated by ultrasound that Silas weighed 1 pound 6 ounces.  I was so thankful when I heard that he actually weighed a full two pounds at birth.  Another answered prayer.  He is a beautiful baby and has a beautiful skin tone and some dark brown hair.  He looks a lot like my two girls did, only so much smaller.  We all thought Maleah was so tiny when she was born at 4 lb. 11 oz.  He is less than half that size.  It's a whole different ballgame this time.  He tried to cry when he was born.  It wasn't exactly a cry but more of a noise.  My heart melted and I was able to focus on him for a few minutes.  They brought him to me and held him up by my face for me to see him.  It was love at first sight.  I was amazed by his perfect yet oh so tiny hands, fingers, and eyes.  I kept thinking of Psalm 139:14 and being "fearfully and wonderfully made."

They took him to the NICU from there while I went to recovery.  I loved recovery, let me tell  you.  It was like a little slice of heaven after a day in hell.  They let me have all of the ice chips I wanted (I had been allowed no food or drink all day in anticipaton of a possible c-section.).  I got to see my girls and my parents.  I was the only patient in there.  The nurses were fantastic.  I left there and they wheeled me in to see my tiny little man.  I got to touch him through the isolette (which they call a giraffe these days, I don't remember that from Maleah's nicu stay).  He was stable and sleeping so they took me upstairs to get me settled into a very comfortable bed that I am truly enjoying.  Jason and I are in our own little corner room.  It is very quiet.  He has a fold out couch to sleep on and got some much needed sleep there.  I think we will be here for a few days before I am released. 

This morning I am anxious to get unhooked from my tubes and iv's so that I can go see the baby again.  In the meantime, I have kept up with what's going on with him by phone with his nicu nurse.  He is still doing good.  She has warned me that this a "honeymoon period" and that 25 weekers will have a roller-coaster ride through the nicu.  I am prepared for that as much as I can be I guess.  Right now, I am just asking for all the prayers I can get for our little guy.  Please pray that his roller-coaster ride won't be too hilly and that he will just flourish and grow.  He is our miracle, that's for sure.

I will try to update this as often as I can, even if it's just a short paragraph here or there...

Thank you all for the prayers and outpouring of support!  You're the best!